The Lord tests the righteous, But the wicked and the one who loves violence His soul hates (Ps 11:5); Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them (Col 3:19)~~ Husbands (men in relationships – and from here on I’m sure you get my drift) when you said “I do”, it wasn’t just saying you would take this woman….(you know the rest), but you vowed in the sight of God to be what He calls a husband to be. While we cannot be perfect in our own effort, in Him we achieve righteousness and upright standing. The woman whose hand you took – Consider she is your wife; your own; the nearest relation you have in the world. You forsook your mother and father as part of God’s plan to be joined into a single flesh according to God’s will. Your wife is to be looked on, not as a servant; not as a subject; not as a target of aggression or anger and certainly not as a burden of any kind, but as a help, love and companion. There is an oath of God between you, which is not to be trifled with. Man and wife should continue to their lives’ end, in holy love and peace. Submission is the duty of the wife. But it is submission, not to a severe Lord or stern tyrant, but to her own husband, who is engaged to AFFECTIONATE duty. And husbands must love their wives with tender and faithful affection!! It is NOT OK for one spouse to commit violence against the other. It’s something God hates. If you are doing this to your spouse, YOU ARE WRONG and if you can’t control yourself, then GET HELP. If this is being done to you by your spouse, then GET OUT! If you are a victim of abuse in your marriage, PLEASE don’t be fooled into thinking that you “deserve it” There is NO JUSTIFICATION WHATSOEVER that makes it okay to resort to violence of any kind or any physical and verbal abuse. God does not condone a marriage of abuse, or violence. The Bible says that he who loves his wife loves himself. There is no love in abuse – for each other or oneself.