Thou hypocrite, first cast out the beam out of thine own eye; and then shalt thou see clearly to cast out the mote out of thy brother’s eye (Matt 7:5)~ Conflicts between us always cause us to look at the behavior of the other person. We focus on the things THEY do and expect THEM to change in order for things to get better. We always want the other person to take the first step, but the first step…for BOTH parties has to begin with “the mirror”. Many conflicts between people in a relationship whether it be friends, co-workers or even more intimate can be resolved much easier when we stop and look at ourselves rather than point blame at the other person. We can’t change the behavior of another person, especially when our own is out of check and likely causing some of the behavior in them. The very thought that the way a person is toward you is always fully their fault is a reason for you to look in the mirror. We can’t be so self-righteous and at the same time so naive as to think and claim that we cannot be part of the problem. There are two sides to every story…to every coin…and to every conflict. There will be those that you just won’t get along with; those that make it their life’s mission to keep negativity going and those that have no desire to be decent with you. Let them go on about their business and enjoy their misery; don’t become their company! But when there are those that you have traditionally had a relationship with, sometimes the change in YOU may be the catalyst for the change in the relationship. Don’t be so blinded by the ‘beam’ of overconfidence in your ‘set-in’ ways that you can’t see the impact you have on what’s happening. Ask yourself in a very serious manner “What can “I” do to make things right here?” When we consider what WE can do to move things in a positive direction rather than force responsibility on the other person, we become better for it and we will see that things actually begin to change FOR US… even if the other person remains stubborn! While the best scenario is that things get better for both of you, this change only happens when each person makes the effort first in themselves! Change First Happens in the First Person…Change first happens with YOU!